Craving Ch. 04

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Authors Note:

This story is a work of fiction and depicts a sexual relationship between two consenting adult women. If this offends you, read no further.

I would like to thank everyone who read the previous parts and waited so patiently for this one. Please feel free to continue posting and emailing your thoughts.

Thank you D. for proof-reading.



My right thumb scratched back and forth in a small line on the black polyurethane of the steering wheel as I sat in the darkened parking lot. My heel tapped against the floor and the nail of my left index finger was jammed between my teeth as I stared out of the windscreen at Renee’s silver fiesta. My pulse had been racing since I pulled into the lot over twenty minutes ago. My mind was in confused chaos, teeming with memories and emotions that I didn’t know what to do with. Since leaving New York, I had considered every possible path that seeing her again would take. The bad paths made my stomach sink and the good paths froze me in fear.

“Oh, for goodness’ sake Lia. Grow a pair!” I scolded myself as I reached for my car keys and pulled them from the ignition. Removing my seatbelt, I kicked the door open and my leg strained as I lifted myself from the seat. I tried to shake some feeling back into my legs as I closed my door and headed for the trunk. The cool air filled my lungs as I retrieved my bags, breathing deep to try and slow the sprinting scenes in my mind. A bag slung over each shoulder and one in my left hand, I closed the trunk and turned to face the stairs. Knowing that I wanted to see her made me wish the weight of my luggage would cause the ground to break open and suck me in. Whatever happens, happens. I tried to comfort myself and inhaled a large dose of courage.

Holding the keys in my palm, I turned the key ring between my thumb and index finger. The cheap gold paint blared the 2G symbols. My eyes sank to the floor as I focused on steadying my breathing once more. I noticed a light flickering on the grey carpet, extending from the gap underneath the door. I could see her sitting on the sofa in my mind, legs resting on the coffee table and a glass of lemon water in her hand. Her golden hair flowing in soft waves around her shoulders and her eyes fixed to the stick figures in bright coloured dresses marching back and forth over a narrow platform. I fought the smile emerging from the right corner of my mouth. I looked at my watch, 9:20 PM, and said a silent prayer that she had already gone to bed and merely left the TV on. Quietly sliding the key into the lock, I slowly turned it and let out a final sigh. The door creaked as it swung open.

“Hey.” The sweet resonance of her chipper tone greeted me with a casualness I wasn’t expecting.

“Hi.” I answered with a meek smile. Renee was sitting sideways on the sofa facing in my direction, knees pulled up to her chest and her back leaning against the arm of the sofa. The familiar melody of a soda commercial played from the television. I closed the door behind me and swallowed hard.

“How was New York?” She asked, reaching for the remote and turning down the volume. I put my bags on the ground to take off my coat and boots.

“Yeah, it was good. Uh, educational.” I hung my coat on the hooks near the door and nudged my shoes against the wall. “How was your summer?”

“Enlightening.” The vague response was uncharacteristic and somewhat unnerving.


“Yes.” She said bluntly and lowered her knees until she was sitting cross-legged and looking at me. I picked up my bags and steadied them on my shoulders. I offered a smile and began to walk towards my bedroom.

“Amelia,” I froze. “Can we talk? Please.” Renee’s voice was soft and genuine. I turned slowly towards her, her glowing eyes pleaded with me as she twisted her fingers in her palm.

“Could we do it later?” I tried to match her genuine tone and hoped she would take it at face value. “The drive was insane. I’m just… really tired.” I tilted my head slightly, giving a drained smile and anxiously waited for her response. She began to slowly nod and inhaled deeply.


Relief washed through me. “Thanks,” I smiled in earnest. “Good night.”

“Night.” She offered bluntly and turned up the television again. My heart contracted violently inside my chest as though it had been struck with the full force of a furious champion boxer. My head spun. I turned away from her and clenched my eyes shut as tightly as I could, reaching for my bags and searching for the smallest piece of clarity. My fingers fumbled about the handles.

I began to walk towards my bedroom, my mind a blur of confusion. Finally hidden behind the security of my bedroom door, I dropped the heavy bags from my shoulders and slumped against the closed door. I kept my eyes closed as relief rolled through my nerves like a wave of warm water. I massaged the stiff muscles güvenilir bahis in my neck, the smell of the stale air in my room beginning to fill my senses. Suddenly aware of the extent of the darkness behind my eyelids, I reached to my left and felt the wall for the light switch. As the room was illuminated I was reminded that I hadn’t tidied it before leaving for New York. The silver curtains were still closed and the bed unmade. Clothes I had decided not to take lay in piles strewn across the floor and the edge of the bed. The framed black and white prints on the walls brought a welcomed sense of familiarity and comfort. A comfort which was short lived after a small splash of green at the top of my bed caught my attention. I still hadn’t been able to remove the scarf.

My breath caught in my throat and a pang of arousal sparked in me. My fingers began to twitch and I lunged for the bag with my shower supplies in it. I swung the heavy case forward and lay it flat on the floor. I hastily unzipped the black polyester and rummaged through the dirty laundry to find the body wash and toothpaste. I rushed to the closet, which was left ajar, and pulled a clean towel and a change of clothes. As I turned to head toward the door the small splash of green satin seemed to freeze me in my step and seize my gaze. It seemed to laugh cruelly as it tormented me with vivid memories. So vivid I could feel the weight of Renee’s legs on my forearms and her scent on my lips. My ears rushed with the low sounds of lust-dripping moans and her warped voice whispering “Please!” over and over again. My body blazed at the memory of her juices flowing over my tongue and down my throat. A violent shiver broke my spiralling trance and wrenched my gaze from the scarf.

I charged toward the concealed window at the opposite end of the room and yanked the curtains open. I hurled the windows open and flung my head into the clean air, desperate to rid my senses of the lucid and paralysing remnants of the encounter. My fingers ached from the grip they held on the windowsill and I tried to take long deep breaths. “Okay.” I muttered to myself once the apparitions tormenting my mind and body had dissipated. Shit! I thought as I looked out at the thousands of lights scattered through the moonlit streets and roof tops of the city. In the distance, voices were yelling and whistles rang through the air from the university’s football field. I shook some sense back into my head and pulled myself back into the room. I chose to leave the window open and headed for the door. Slowly pulling the door open, I peered through the slight gap and saw that Renee wasn’t on the sofa. I quietly opened the door enough to squeeze through and slip across the hall into the bathroom.

I wasn’t sure how long I spent in the shower. I stood under the torrents of warm water that cascaded over my skin and rinsed away the panic that trickled through my pores at so many moments during the day. I smoothed my hair over my head as the water spattered against my forehead and flowed over my eyelids, cloaking and carrying away the disobedient tears which crept from my eyes. My hands shook and my emotions shivered as my new past and present reality soaked into me. Resting my palms against the cold tiles, I rolled my head forward and the water moved my hair down the side of my face. I stood like that until my eyes had no more tears to give. After washing my fatigued body I turned the water off and noted that the apartment was quite. I sighed in relief realising that it meant Renee had probably gone to bed. I wrapped my towel around my body and carted my clean clothes into my room where I collapsed onto my bed and faded into sleep.

Morning arrived in what seemed like no time at all, the alarm clock screeched its monotonous call and I awoke feeling as though I hadn’t slept at all. I reached out to silence the contraption and glared at the bold red numbers telling me it was 07:00 AM. I rolled onto my back and fixed my eyes on the only smudge on the otherwise pristine white ceiling. I noticed the apartment was still quiet, as usual, and my mind ran through the list of things I needed to do which included buying a new textbook for the semester. I grimaced at the thought of the unbearable queue there was bound to be. Realising it would be beneficial to get there earlier and remembering that I wanted to drop off my laundry at the dry cleaners, I dragged myself up and reached for a pair of jeans and whichever clean shirt was closest the bed.

After gathering all my laundry into a bag, I pulled a brush through my hair and headed for the bedroom door. Renee’s door was still closed as I left my room, setting the laundry bag down outside the bathroom. I stood brushing my teeth in front of the mirror and sighed as I looked at the dark rings under my eyes. My attention was pulled by the corner of one of Renee’s pink shirts sticking out of the laundry hamper by the tub. I finished up and pulled the türkçe bahis hamper bag from its woven bamboo basket.

“Hey.” Renee’s voice startled me as I left the bathroom and I mumbled a curse word in fright.

“Hey.” I answered as my tensed muscles began to relax. She was standing in the doorway to her room, leaning against the doorpost, arms behind her back and her right leg supporting her weight. Her curves hugged by a white tank top and white boy shorts. I couldn’t hide the confused dip of my eyebrows when I saw that her ankle socks were grey and not white.

“You’re up early.” Her voice was soft and clung to notes of sleepiness.

“Yeah. I uh… Need to pick up a new textbook and I figured better to go in early.” Her eyes sunk to the floor and she nodded faintly at my explanation.

“When is your first class?” She asked as she crossed her legs at the ankles.

“Today, starts at 10. That’s why I wanna get the book now.” I offered, knowing that was not what Renee really wanted to ask.

“You didn’t leave yourself much time to rest. After the long drive.” She let out a relenting but frustrated sigh and tried to give me a sympathetic smile. I could only smile and shrug my shoulders in response. I looked into my room at the clock.

“It’s 7:25. I should really get going.” I made the two steps to where I had dropped my own laundry and picked it up.

“Oh, you don’t need to do that!” Renee called from behind me. I turned slightly to look at her and she was pointing to her laundry in my hand.

“No, I’m going there anyway. It’s okay.” I answered while walking backwards across the living room toward the door. I set the laundry down to pull on my boots and coat and grab my keys from the table. I made my way to the parking lot, seeing for the first time that the hand rails on the stairs had been painted grey. I tossed the laundry onto the back seat and hopped in the driver’s seat. As I slid my key into the ignition, I froze as an unexpected thought fused itself to my mind, blanketing my entire consciousness. Grey socks?

The book store was predictably uneventful. I found the textbook I needed almost immediately, cursing under my breath when I saw the price of it. Fortunately, my decision to get to the store early paid off and there were only four people waiting in the queue when I got there. Exiting the store, I looked down at my watch and frowned as I noted that it was only 08:32 AM. I stood for what felt like ages outside the store and considered what I should do next, it would only take me twelve minutes to get to campus but that would leave an hour before the class started. If I went back to the apartment… No. Finally, I decided to stop at the coffee shop just off campus and bide my time using the discounted wi-fi.

09:58 AM. I gazed at my watch as the lecture hall began to fill with familiar faces, enthusiastic voices cluttered the air with tales of “stellar waves”, “banging babes” and, of course, “I can’t believe he did that’s”. I tried in vain to block out the stories I had heard a hundred variations of until a ghost froze the room around me. A thin, 5″10 ghost with dark hair and bright eyes, her form flowed in a knee-length white and purple sun dress. Her flawless complexion was a fuzzy memory with no time or place. I watched the spectre cross the front of the hall and place her things on the lecturer’s podium. Reaching behind her she picked up a small wooden block and banged it against the podium. The room fell quiet and she had everyone’s attention.

“Good morning, guys and girls.” Her feminine voice was almost comedic in its attempt to sound serious. “I’m Doctor Allie Caine. I’m sure some of you know that Professor Bunt retired last year and I will be taking over this class.” She announced as she began to pace in front of the podium. I thought carefully about the name but it brought no light to the sense of familiarity. I guessed she was nearly thirty and admired that she obtained a doctorate so soon. Most prefer to work in industry for a few years before jumping into doctorate degrees.

“So, let’s get something clear quickly. By a show of hands, how many of you are expecting to skate through this class because you think that as a new lecturer I want to impress faculty with a high pass rate?” She stood still and peered at the ninety or so faces around me, eyebrows raised and expectant. She pursed her lips and nodded discreetly.

“None of you?” She raised her arms to her sides in a questioning gesture. “Come on, people! Honesty requires bravery, be brave!” She looked out as slowly people began to raise their hands, sheepishly into the air. She nodded as she counted the hands, “Twenty seven, of you. That’s fair.” She began to pace once more, the dress softly swaying with her steps.

“Now show me, how many of you immediately expected to get screwed because you think I will want to show that I’m not a pushover?” Again she paused to count güvenilir bahis siteleri the hands but laughed when more than half of them raised their hands. “Yeah,” she softly chuckled, “I’ve been there too.” Her eyes scanned the lowering hands and suddenly stopped in my direction, her expression never flinching. “Lia… You aren’t expecting anything from a new lecturer?”

My heart skipped a beat and I wondered how long she had known I was in the class, and wondered with increasing frustration where I had met her. She held my gaze and waited as I sat frozen with a million thoughts rushing through my mind. I shook my head fast and lowered my eyes.

“Well, I have bad news for twenty seven of you and good news for the rest.” She announced as she moved back behind the podium. “I will be consulting Professor Bunt on every test and exam you take to make sure the standard is fair.” An almost unanimous sigh of relief rang through the air. She smiled and said, “Right, let’s jump right in and get the boring stuff out of the way, the revision of last semesters work.”

I spent the remainder of the class wracking my brain to try and place her. That night I left campus when the library closed at midnight none the wiser.

Mercifully, Renee was asleep when I got back to the apartment. I quietly hung my coat and made my way to the kitchen, looking for a snack. I pulled the refrigerator door open and scanned its contents. I reached in and grabbed a small tub of yogurt, my eyes drawn to the keys oddly sitting on top of a Chinese takeout box on the top shelf. I laughed under my breath and picked up the cooled metal pieces. Closing the fridge I went to hang Renee’s car keys by the door and realised I didn’t have a spoon. I ate the yogurt while standing in the kitchen and I reminded myself that I had to buy food at some point, deciding it could be done when I picked up the laundry.

The days passed in the usual monotonous pattern; wake up, grab breakfast, go to class, grab lunch, hit the library, get to the gym, go home, raid the fridge, take a shower and go to sleep. Repeat. The weekend was spent bouncing between diners and coffee shops when not running errands. While my mind never rested, I felt like it was empty. That is, full of empty things. At the start of the second week I was already adjusting to the new class schedule and waking up a couple of minutes before my alarm went off. Thursday came around and I was late for my 09:00 AM class. I ran out of my room and bolted for the door. Renee was flipping through her design portfolio in the living room.

“Hi.” I offered as I took my coat off the hook and started pulling it on.

“Bye.” She said flatly and my fingers slowed as they folded down the collar of my coat. She continued to flip through the file in her lap as though my existence were an imagined shadow in the corner of her eye. I felt cold.

“Bye.” I muttered as I grabbed my keys and opened the door. I raced down the stairs to my car with Renee’s icy voice foremost in my mind. As I slid the key into the ignition I looked back toward the stairs and the word replayed in my mind. “Bye.” Cold and detached. “Bye.” Distant and numb.

I jumped as the alarm on my wrist watched beeped, indicating it was 09:00 AM. I silenced it and turned the key in the ignition. With a final glance to the stairs I pulled out and headed to campus. Renee’s voice rang from the recesses of every lecture hall. It bounced off the walls of every corridor and echoed through the whispering voices around me. When my last lecture for the day ended at 03:30 PM, I had resolved myself to go back to the apartment. I drove quickly as I thought about what to say, what apologies I had to make and I prepared for conversations that might transpire.

I got to the apartment and unlocked the door, the apartment was quiet.

“Renee?” I called out as I closed the door. There was no answer. I looked to the table by the door and saw that her jacket and keys weren’t there. I sighed and rolled my eyes at myself as it occurred to me that I had no idea what Renee’s class schedule was like this semester. I shambled over to the sofa and dropped back onto it, tossing my phone onto the coffee table and leaning back against the chair. I momentarily tried to remember what times her classes were last week only to mentally slap myself when I remembered that I had stayed on campus until after midnight every day. I looked toward the opposite end of the sofa where she usually sat. The image of Renee leaning back with her arms bent over the back of the sofa and her legs spread around my face burst into my mind. I felt a twinge of arousal and vehemently shook the image from my head.

I reached for the remote and turned the television on, the stick-thin presenter of some reality channel slowly coming into focus. I grimaced and flipped through the channels, the button heating under my finger as I rolled through them. My finger stopped when the young voice of Burt Reynolds filled the room, “Well, Cowboys love fat calves.”

“They’re not fat!” Came the quirky reply from Sally Fields. I smiled and set the remote down, dropping back into the comfort of the plushy sofa.

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