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I couldn’t keep the thoughts out of my head; thinking about that first time Ryan and I had sex exactly one year ago…all of a sudden Ryan had been standing in front of me, completely naked. He kissed me gently, tenderly, with passion. I closed my eyes just wanting it to be over. He put his hands on my waist and slid my track pants down until they were at my ankles. I automatically lifted up first one leg, and then the other, allowing him to pull them off me completely. It felt so robotic, so mechanical. I was responding to his touch because as a sub, it’s what nature intended. A faggot like me obeys his Alpha. This is what Ryan wanted. It happened without thought. If I had been sober, I would have said something–but then again if I had been sober this wouldn’t have been happening in the first place…
Now I was wearing only my jock, and Ryan’s massive cock was pressed against my thigh, still dripping copious amounts of his precum. He took my hand in his, and lead me to my bedroom, with me obediently following behind. We arrived in my room, and he walked around me to close the door behind me. I shut my eyes, it felt like he was trapping me in there with him, with no escape. ‘Please no, please do not let this happen. No, god, please!’ I said to myself. How the fuck could I let things get this far?
Ryan walked back around me to lay down on my bed, and tugged gently on my hand to pull me in after him. Again I obeyed, laying myself down next to him, our faces almost touching. He kissed me again, sliding his tongue into my mouth and gently nibbling my lips. He was such an incredible kisser, and his mouth tasted so fresh even though he couldn’t have brushed his teeth since at least a few hours ago. I wished at that moment that I could just be attracted to him, that I could just be normal. Who in my place would want to resist this Apex Alpha in their bed?
He pushed on my leg, moving me towards him. Clearly he wanted me to get on top of him. I sat up awkwardly, and brought my legs to either side of his torso until I was straddling him, and his rock-hard cock was now leaking precum right onto my pussy as it quivered with anticipation, my jock allowing full contact between us. “You’re so fucking gorgeous Colby, and I love you so fucking much. I want to make love to you all night long, I NEED to be inside you!”
Ryan reached around behind me and grabbed his shaft, positioning it to allow the head to be lined up with my pussy lips. He took his hand back to his face and spat into it, bringing it back to rub all over his cock, and I felt one of his fingers rubbing gently all around the inside of my pussy. He took his time, he clearly knew how to fuck an ass. He was so gentle with that finger, making sure I took it easily before he brought his fingers up to my mouth, and slid them inside. I was not prepared for the rank taste of my own pussy, but I was clean, and had readied myself when I took a shower earlier; I’m a good sub who was trained well, I always make sure to keep myself ready at all times. I obediently opened my mouth, and Ryan slid a second, and then a third finger inside, pushing back and forth until they were very wet with saliva. He brought his hand back to my pussy and slid two fingers inside. I moaned; it wasn’t completely unpleasant, but there was some pain.
“Fuck Colby, the way you moan gets me so fucking hard for you. I’m going to be inside you soon, okay? I can hear how desperate you are for my cock. I won’t make you wait much longer I promise!” And he kissed my abs as he slid the third finger inside. I moaned louder, grunting a little. This time hurt a little more, but it did subside as he worked his fingers in and out, taking his time to make sure I really opened up for him. He brought his fingers back to my mouth, and again I opened up for him. The flavour of my own cunt was strange, although not unpleasant, and not something I’d never tasted before–a lot of men liked to go back-and-forth from my pussy to my throat. I definitely preferred the taste of cock though, pussy was not for me.
Ryan took his hand out of my mouth again, brought it down to his, and spat into it one more time, before finally bringing it back behind me to massage over his cockhead and into my pussy again. Then he grabbed his cock, and slid it around until it was parting my lips. He brought his hands to either side of my waist, and slowly starting pulling me down onto him.
The moment his cock pushed past my lips, I felt myself stretch wider than I had ever been stretched before. Jason had a HUGE cock, but it was nowhere near as thick as Ryan’s. ‘This must be what getting fisted feels like!’ I thought to myself. Thankfully there was still enough alcohol to keep me from feeling everything; I could definitely tell there was pain, but it was almost like it was far away. I can’t deny that Ryan definitely made every effort not to rush me. He went so slowly, my heart almost broke all over again because I could see how badly he was trying to make this maslak escort enjoyable for me, and I knew that it must be killing him not to just give in to his desires and thrust his cock all the way into me at once.
I wanted to enjoy this. I LOVE getting fucked, and there’s no more insanely hot a guy than Ryan. He did absolutely everything right. More than that, he wasn’t just fucking me, he was doing exactly what he had told me, he was making love to me. I could feel his love in the tenderness of his movements. The way he kissed my abs, my hands, my chest, my nipples. The way he caressed every part of my body so gently, so slowly. The way he was looking at me, like I was the most incredible thing he’d ever seen. Like he really was in love with me.
Suddenly he was looking right into my eyes, and I felt his balls smack against my ass. He was all the way inside me…and tears started falling down my face. I took my hand to try to discreetly wipe them, hoping he was too lost in the feeling of finally being inside me to notice–but he saw me. He stopped moving right away “Oh fuck! Colby, I’m so sorry, am I hurting you?? I know I’m really big, I was doing everything I could to open you and then go slow!”
He looked so upset, so apologetic. I couldn’t believe what I was doing. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME??? I tried to smile, all I could think of was ‘no matter what happens tonight, I’m not losing you Ryan!’
I leaned forward as far as the giant cock in my ass would let me, and kissed his lips. “Baby, I’m SO sorry. I don’t know if I can take it right now, you’re so big and I know you really took your time, but I didn’t realize how long it’s been since I’ve been with anyone. And I’ve never been with a guy as big as you. I don’t think I’m ready for it, it just hurts too much…”
He looked heartbroken, and I thought I was going to die. I kissed him as quickly as I could, desperately trying to show him a desire for him that I did not feel. “Ryan, I love you so fucking much. Please don’t be upset with me, I just want our first time to be perfect!” Oh shit, where the fuck did I come up with that one?
He looked at me, and half-smiled, “are you sure Colby? I don’t want to pressure you into anything you don’t want…”
I didn’t even realize I was holding my breath, I relaxed a bit at seeing his smile. “You know how much you mean to me, don’t you Ryan?” I took his hand, and I placed it on my heart. With the stress of his giant cock stretching me, and the anxiety of almost ruining our relationship, my heart was beating a million times a second. “My heart hasn’t beat for someone like this since…well, you know better than anyone. You were the one who picked up all the broken pieces of me and took the time and the care to put them back together. I would die if anything happened and I lost you. I just want to be ready for you, to give you the pleasure and love that you deserve. When we do make love, I want everything to be perfect!” I kissed him again, slowly, sliding my tongue between his lips and rubbing my piercing around on his tongue.
I took his arms and I wrapped them around my back, pushing myself against his body as much as I could while his cock still throbbed deep inside me. And then I squeezed it. I clamped down on his cock with the muscles inside my pussy, and squeezed- trying to give him as much pleasure as I could in this moment. I would deal with the consequences of what I was saying later, right now all that matters is that he knows I am not prepared to lose him.
He moaned in pleasure, “oh fuck baby, WOW! That’s incredible! I’m so sorry I’m rushing you, and you’re right, I want our first time to be perfect too. You deserve to be with a Man who knows how to treat you right, not that fucking coward.”
He gently lifted me off his cock, until with a slight plop, all of a sudden I felt air rushing into my pussy. He was only half-hard at this point, and his cock smacked slightly against his incredible abs. Ryan pulled me gently down towards him until I was laying down completely, all my weight on top of him.
He kissed me again and again “I love you so much Colby, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you. If waiting for you a little longer is what I need to do to make sure that you’re ready for us to be together, then that’s what I’ll do. There is NO ONE else out there for me but you!”
I kissed him again, trying to force passion into it, and hoping he felt it even though it wasn’t there, before turning my face to the side so he wouldn’t see that I’d started crying again. I must have a serious mental disorder–this Man is the most kind, wonderful, sexy, incredible human being I’ve ever met, and all he wants is to love me and be with me…why can’t I feel that for him???
———————————————————————————————————————
I was so ashamed, I could feel my eyes burning as the rage turned to anguish. ‘How could I have allowed escort gebze him to do that to me?’
I wasn’t sure I could face Jason again, wasn’t even sure that I wanted to. But after having hidden out on the bathroom floor for at least half an hour, I heard a soft knock at the door. “Babe, are you okay?”
I wiped my eyes, and decided I needed to tell him how disgusted I was by what had happened, and how fucked up he must be if he thought he could behave that way. I took a deep breath, unlocked the door, and pulled it open. My gaze fell immediately on his face, his eyes, and the worried look they carried…and it weakened my resolve. He was so fucking gorgeous, and he was obviously worried about me. ‘Maybe he knows how bad he just fucked this up?’
Before I had a chance to speak, he had his arms around me and was pulling me in tight against him. “What were you doing in here? You were gone so long, and you hadn’t said a word. I didn’t even have a chance to tell you that you are the greatest cocksucker I’ve ever had! You just got up and walked away. What’s wrong Colby? I want you to know that you can always tell me anything, and I expect you to be honest with me–just as I will always be honest with you.”
I managed to gently pull myself away from his embrace; despite how upset I was, it was still difficult to not want to have his arms around me. I looked up into his eyes, and I could feel there was something there. Maybe it was too early to be love, but there was a protective, passionate fire dancing behind those beautiful hazel eyes. I shook my head and tried to clear my thoughts. I didn’t want to just abandon all the feelings he’d brought up in me just because of how sexy he was, I needed to confront him.
“Jason…I’m really upset about what happened earlier when I was sucking your cock.” I was trying to look around for the right words to express all the anger, disgust, shame, and betrayal I had felt, but before I had a chance to say anything he responded.
“I think I understand what’s wrong–that was the first time you’ve ever been dominated before, right?” It took me a second, but then I slowly nodded my head. “Baby, you’re so sexy, a total hunk. I can only assume that the reason you’ve never done it is because you didn’t know you were a sub?”
What was he talking about? ‘What does he mean, I’m a sub?’ I was silent as I ran over his words again and again.
He waited for a moment, but when I still hadn’t said anything he said, “Colby, there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re not broken. You’re not fucked up. There’s nothing for you to feel ashamed of. You ARE a sub. Any REAL man would know that immediately. I smelled it on you the second I saw you. And I’m so thankful that you’re such a sub. Because I’m extremely dominant, and I’ve been waiting all my life to meet the perfect, obedient, sexy, handsome, eager to please sub that you are. Even in my dreams, I’ve never imagined that I could meet anyone like you, so desperate to serve, and so clearly in need of ME: the dominant Alpha to teach you and break you in.”
I just stared at him, bewildered. I do speak English after all, it’s not that I didn’t understand each word that came out of his mouth on their own, but put all together, what he was saying just made no sense to me at all. “But…I…no! I’m not a ‘sub’, and I hated the way you were treating me!”
He smiled, a sly, knowing smile. “Baby, you didn’t completely hate it. Part of you was loving it. Part of you was hoping I’d be even more aggressive and rough and dominant. Part of you was desperate to submit to me.”
What he was saying was making me even more uncomfortable, I hated that he knew that he was right.
“Listen, I’ve been with subs before. Never for more than a night, but I know how subs like you are. I’ve never actually had the chance to train a sub right from his first experience, so this will be an incredible journey for both of us. And I know, right now you probably don’t feel the pleasure you had felt in the moment as you were serving me. It went away as my expectation for you to pleasure me was fulfilled. By the time you were finished swallowing my cum you were probably already upset with yourself. From what I’ve gotten to learn from the subs I’ve been with, that’s all completely normal at the beginning. It’s part of my job to get you comfortable with yourself. The REAL you. The sub.”
I didn’t want to keep talking about it, I refused to accept any part of what he was saying. But I was more upset with myself now than I was with him. If he thought I was into domination, yes he probably should have talked to me about it before. But I can show him that he’s wrong, and we can still build the relationship that I had been so excited to start after our talk the night before. So I kept my mouth shut, and I just found my way back into his arms. ‘When it seems like we’re about to have sex, I’ll make sure that you understand. I’m not gonna accept any of this escort merter shit. We can have normal sex and enjoy each other’s bodies the way it’s supposed to be.’ And with that thought, I let him pull me tightly against him again.
He kissed my neck, my lips, the tip of my nose. I started to smile, I really loved the way he kissed me, the way he held me, the way he touched me. “Babe, don’t you work today?”
He kissed me again, and said “Yup. What time is it?”
I looked at the clock in the hallway, “it’s almost 8:30.”
He groaned, “the last thing I want to do right now is stop kissing you, baby. But I need to run if I’m not going to be late. I’ll grab a bite to eat on my way into the office. I’ll skip the shower for now, at least I had one at the gym last night…do you work today? I just realized I don’t even know what you do.”
I gave him one more kiss, he was pretty much irresistible and I was going to be very sad when he left. “I’m the kitchen manager at the Savoy grill. They don’t open until 5 on weeknights. Do you know the Savoy?”
Jason whistled, “wow! That place is swanky! I had dinner with a few colleagues there the other day to celebrate his engagement. You’re already the kitchen manager and you’re only 23?”
I felt pride in myself, and I was certain I felt it coming from him too. “I started working there when I was…well, let’s say ‘very young’. Technically it wasn’t legal, but I was a dishwasher and nobody was going to check that kind of fancy, expensive restaurant. I was on my own, and I needed money. I was staying at shelters most nights, which was fine, but they only provided dinner. I didn’t want to apply for my school’s breakfast program. For a start, I was ashamed. But I also knew there were people who needed it far more than me, I had a house and a family…even if my step-mom had thrown me out of it and my dad was sick and dying in the hospital. The Savoy fed me meals, on top of giving me money, so it was perfect. And it was where I met Kevin a couple years later.”
“I was a server by then, and had already started renting out a room in a municipal housing complex. But he fell in love with me pretty much right from the beginning, and he insisted that I come live with him. I wasn’t going to refuse, he was handsome, and kind, and loved taking care of me. And he had a beautiful house on the river, he’s a lawyer so he did very well for himself. And I was able to start saving money away.”
“Even after we broke up, he let me stay with him, it was me that decided to get my own place, a proper place. I didn’t want to hold him back from having another relationship. And then 2 years ago I was offered the job of kitchen manager and I could not have been happier. I’ve been doing pretty well with my savings, and I’m planning on going to school. I never had the chance to even consider going to college after I graduated high school, and that’s the thing I wish I could have been able to do differently. It doesn’t matter, better late than never.”
Jason grabbed me by the hand and wrapped his muscular arms around my body, holding me tightly to him from behind. “You’re an incredible person Colby. You’re so fucking strong and you know you’re sexy as hell. I’m so happy I found you.” He tilted my head towards his and kissed me again, on the lips. His tongue massaging mine, playing with my stud, while soft moans escaped my lips. I was in heaven.
Far too soon he pulled away. “Sexy, I’m really going to be late and in deep shit if I don’t leave already. But I hope you know that I would much rather be staying here to spend the day with you!”
I smiled, all thoughts of this morning gone from my head. This was the purest joy I had felt in a long time, possibly ever. He was incredible. And I think I might just get to have him all to myself. “I want to tell you to call in sick…but I don’t want you to get the impression that I can’t live without you. It’s too soon to show my hand, and on a lesser note, I also don’t want you to get in shit for calling in sick.”
He laughed, “handsome, you’ll be back in my arms soon enough. And that’s exactly where I want you to be!” He kissed me again, and I found myself realizing that the effects he was having on me were almost impossible to believe. ‘We just met…how can I already feel this way about him?!’
We kissed far too long, I just didn’t want him to stop; but eventually we had no choice and he had to practically run to his truck with his jacket hanging off of one arm. He jumped in, started the engine, and started to turn around out of the driveway. He rolled down the window just before he was about to head off, and turned to look at me, “Colby…I meant it. There’s something here, between us. It’s real, and I know you feel it the same way I do. Something like this…it doesn’t just happen. Everything happens for a reason. You were meant to come into my life, just like I was meant to come into yours. You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met Colby; I may not know you as well as I’d like to just yet, but I know that. I’ve never felt like this before, and it scares me a little. Because it would be so easy for you to just keep going with your life like nothing happened. I’m asking you not to do that…I’m asking you to be with me.”
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